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New Year!! Yay?

Jan. 8th, 2008 | 04:04 pm

Well, what do ya know! Its another fuckin year gone by! Whoop! Hopefully this year will run alot smoother than the last!

Cant wait till i'm done college, its the most depressing place on this earth V__V; Then i'll be off to Uni, whoo! Cheap drink to drown my sorrows, free broadband to spend ALL my free time on and strange creepy geeky friends to hang around with...although i could maybe do without the latter >__>'

No, my obsession with that ONE person is still very much there. Havent seen them in bloody ages though, actually, since August *sigh* but i'm determined to see them before summer!!

I'm actually angry about all the shit promises people made at the end of school and summer, 'Oh dont worry, we'll all meet up again in the holidays and have parties and go drinking etc, we'll never lose touch blah blah BLAH!'...yeah, like fuck you will. When was the last party? Like back in June. WOW, real fuckin effort to keep in contact there! I'm so impressed by their efforts to keep in contact its overwhelming me right now!! Give me a moment to get myself together here....

Twats. Next time i see any of them i'll walk straight past them. I dont know if its becuase they've moved on and dont give a shit or if they just dont like me. They certainly gave me all the wrong signs if they didnt like me! All the Glasgow uni people are kinda crap anyway, i knew i was gonna lose contact with them, but its the Aberdeen people that are getting me down, the good people went there and i barely see them! *sigh* :(

UCAS application still to complete, FUCK. Like...a few days left! SHIT.

Oh well, i'm sure i'll get it all done at the last minute! xD

Hmm, what else has happened? Well i quit scuba diving, not officially, but i aint going to another lesson again. Theres a huge bill waiting for me, but until i'm actually given it i couldnt care less...

Christmas was awesome, New Year kinda blah (as it always is, it doesnt really mean anything to me anyway!!). Sad its all over, its getting more about family time than presents. I could honestly have gone without ANY presents and still had an awesome time. Its just great to be with all the family and have a laugh etc. Twas crap having to work the next day though, kinda stamped on the mood a bit! ;__;

Work is going crap too. I'm thinking about leaving and getting a job in either Gamestation or GAME, whichever suits best. The only thing is both shops have employees that STINK of BO, like REALLY FUCKIN STINK!! O___O; Its like entering a gas chamber when you step through the door to the shop. 'Quick, check for deals then fucking leg it before we keel with the stench!!'

Nothing much else to say...work and college tomorrow, oh the joys, better make up my lunch tonight so i save myself about a tenner buying food from Marks and Spencer (tis the only place that sells GOOD food. God what was i thinking buying plastic laced sandwiches from Superdrug, bleh).

Anyhoo, caio! n__n'

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Its been a while...

May. 17th, 2007 | 05:01 pm
location: Home
mood: morosemorose

Well its been ages since i posted on here, and i wont try to make a habit of posting becuase i can never keep it up! xD

So, i've left school now, last week i was officially done. I'm free now, and it feels so damn weird and scary. Doing my exams, sat 2 which i'm certain i've failed. I'm not just saying that becuase everyone come sout and goes "Ooohhh i SO failed that". I actually know i have, becuase i didnt truely revise for them and my mind was elsewhere during them.

I've still got higher admin and art to sit at the end of the month, and i better pass those or its bye bye uni! :(

I'm actually really really scared about Uni - its for the most STUPID reason. Becuase i wont see someone again. I seem to be living for this one person, and its driving me insane yet getting me down at the same time.

How can someone get so obsessed by one person? I dont even know if they like me or even acknowledge me! I seem to be living in my own little fantasy world where i dream that one day we'll be together etc etc and its driving me up the wall.

One side of me says "FUCKING COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH AND CONCENTRATE ON THE REAL WORLD!!" while the other side of me says "Phone Them. Talk to them. Meet up with them. Just speak to them!".

I'm really frightened that i'll lose contact with them. I'm certain it would be possible to have a happy medium and live life normally while seeing them too, but right now my mind cant seem to grasp that!

I'm getting all the sneaky signs that they might just like me. They look at me, smile at me, try to make conversation with me. When i txt them not that long ago they put thee most suggestive comment i've ever seen in a txt then shoved a wink at the end. The thing is, i get all flustered and sqeemish whenever they come near me or talk to me and i blush and flee the area!! -__-

Now that i've left school us getting together or even seeing each other just one more time seems impossible. Its all i think about and its making me depressed. I cant study when i'm like this, my mind just wanders off and thinks about them all the fricken time!

Arghhh, what can i do?

I sound like some crazed fangirl...at times it feels like i am!

My best friend is helping me through it. She can see all the signs too. I think i dont have the confidence to progress with this becuase i just cant imagine them liking me at all! They're the hottest person i've ever clapped eyes on, and they have the most amazing personality. Everyone fancies them!

Oh for goodness sake. Crazy speech over! ¬__¬' I might just txt them later or something.


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Fuckin Annoyed u__u'

Mar. 19th, 2007 | 07:49 pm

Why is it whenever i miss a big party the absolute one and only love of my life is there, and not only were they there, they were wasted too apparently...ugh, i could have so taken advantage! I'm absolutely gutted and i couldnt stop looking at them today in school, my stomach kept turning and i felt like i was gonna be sick every few minutes. I cant believe i get like this!! x__x;;

On a lighter note, it started snowing yesterday, made a nice blanket, then stopped. Got up this morning...openend my blinds to see everything absolutely covered and a fricken snowstorm!! It was so deep, and i was SO sure that bus pupils wouldnt have to go to school. I phoned the little weather number that all pupils were given and it said the school was open...FUCKING OPEN! I couldnt believe it. I thought our headmaster had learned his lesson when he sent the buses out in the most ridiculous snow conditions last year and only 1 out of 6 buses made it to school (my one went hurtling into a ditch, as did most!).

Well i made it to school anyway, much to my dismay, i still had piles of Business Management homework to do for 2nd period, so i spent all of private study writing away like there was no tomorrow! I didnt get it done but i dont care of the fuckin teacher complains, i've got too many commitments and every class is chucking past papers at me right now and i dont have time to do them all. Is it just me or do any teachers consider that you may have work from other subjects?

Its finally beginning to dawn on me that i have about 4 weeks of school left. I'm so scared! Actually, that is also making me feel sick! I'm officially done school and exams on the 31st, then its freedom until September! I cant believe it, i dont know what i'm gonna do with myself! :(

Ahh shit, dinners ready! xD *flee*

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(no subject)

Mar. 18th, 2007 | 04:18 pm

-__- Me and my brother got tulips for my mum today (for mothers day obviously) and they're nearly dead. Shit Co-op...

I sat them under a light hoping they'll grow better before my mum gets back.

...nothing else to say! xD

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(no subject)

Mar. 5th, 2007 | 06:55 pm

ARGHH. Fuckin 3rd attempt at doing my english personal study prelim and the bitch fails me again. How much more PAIN do i have to go through to at least scrape a pass? I honestly think that i'm one of the hardest workers in that class. I know my fucking poem off by heart and know every fucking comma from every fucking metaphor!! ¬__¬'
Oh, and i dropped shit RE too. The teacher actually recommended me to do it saying "I fear that by getting too much into this subject your other subjects with suffer"...too damn rigth they'll suffer, i never knew there was a whole textbook on one fucking paragraph of the bible! I think i've got about 6 RE textbooks that are like 200 pages long and thats only half of them for the course. Fuck that, i dropped it straight away!

Well *cough* thats not vey important! What is important is that i'm finally free from work, handed in my letter of leave and now i can watch Shipwrecked repeats every Saturday morning! yay! n__n'

Sooo much bitching at school. I was frantically running from group to group in the lockers learning about who fucking hates who, and who wants to scratch whos eyes out. Oh what fun. I'm just glad i'm never in the middle of it! I actually feel kinda bad for one of my friends (NAME SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED!)...shes always getting bitched about, i think its becuase people are jealous of her. Shes smart, good-looking, and has a great future ahead of her, and everyone picks on her and backstabs the poor girl. I think i'm one of the only people who dont bitch about her, and i keep telling her, but i have a horrible feeling that she doesnt believe me!!

Got scuba diving tomorrow night. CANT BE ARSED! Hate the whole lateness of it, i only get home at like 11pm. Why does it have to be so late? Half the time is spent cleaning the equipment and we get like no time in the actual pool, sucks! -__-;

Just so grateful i've got this weekend off and i'm away to my cousins to relax and google at the tv screen for hours without being disturbed! But...then its back to the mill and slaving away at bloody school. If i dont pass my exams this year i actually think the only way out for me if death. I REFUSE to go to that skanky college in town, where all the NEDs and dirty kids go (and not to mention the boy who was thrown out of my school for touching up a little girl...and i sat beside him in History, UGH!). My mum wants me to do plumbing there. By heck will i PLUMB! I couldnt turn a tap on for
shit, so theres no way i'm fucking connecting pipes to each other for shit money.

By god...i would just love for something good to come along right now and take me away from all of this! All i've ever known is school...school...and more school. And if i pass my exams or fail them i've got more schooling to face.

Found out that i'm not on the guest list for the upcoming party. Apparently like the whole of my year isnt allowed to go, and theres only a select few who are! Fuck him, i'll have my own party, and we'll go round there and brick his car in, jerk!

Ahh fuck, dinner is ready. Byeeee!!! ^__^v

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An update? No wayz! o__o'

Mar. 3rd, 2007 | 02:41 pm

So...liek, i've totally neglected everything i used to do online. I always have periods like this! Hmm...considering the amount of time i've been away i havent actually got that much to talk about...well, i actually do.

Thought it would be best to leave the computer well alone for a while, and i've got myself a proper social life...i know, me, a social life! Went out to Soho nightclub last weekend, had a great time, apart from one of my best friends Laura getting herself absolutely wasted and i had to practically carry her home!
Applied for 3 university courses, got replies from all 3! yay! I need 2 b's and 2 c's, its gonna be a challenge for me!
Away to Robert Gordon's University for a visit on Wednesday to see around the place. Applied for Computer Graphics and Animation, quite excited about it except the people i mainly like are going to Glasgow, so that kinda sways my decision.
Got my Glasgow visit in a couple of weeks for Fashion Business at Glasgow Caledonian University, not so excited about that course but like i said before, it would be great to see all my friends in Glasgow.
Finishing my job at the end of March. Been doing it for just over 2 years. Shit pay, cant wait to get a better job in town, plus i can get discount on whatever i'm selling, yay! ^__^
Its actually really scaring me everything thats happening. My life is all quiet and boring, and i've been complaining for years that i need something to come and break my shit routine. Now a million things i've come and hit me at once, exciting things, great changes, and suddenly i'm worried about leaving my shit routine behind.
To add to all the school and job decisions, i joined Scuba Diving before Christmas. Its so expensive and i have to go to pool and theory lessons on a Tuesday, get back home for 11pm! Got a big dive coming up in 2 weeks on mothers day at Lochcarron, cant be assed. Theres a big party the night before and the Diving rules state that i cant have alochol in my system for at least 24 hours before doing a dive. Fucking Great! ¬__¬'

Argghh, why does March have to be so busy! Exams coming in 2 months aswell, and i really need to pass these! Oh god help me! With everything thats been going on i'vr had to take tons of shifts off work, so i'm getting like no pay. If i'm not gonna be working over the next 2 months becuase of exams then i'll have to borrow and steal all the time ;__; (stealing being my favourite, yay!)

Got Final Fantasy XII. Rushed into town on the Friday it was released and grabbed one of the last copies along with the HUGE limited edition guidebook. It came to £50...£20 of that i had to borrow off my mum! I'm in such debt to every1 T__T'

Ordered Final Fantasy III, should be coming on Wednesday, so i can have my RPG fix whereever i go! yay!
Got so fed up of Guild Wars, went and spent £90 on the two collectors edition expansion packs, only to get bored of it a few days later. My guild is gonna kill me for not coming on as much. Oh...thats another thing, made some great friends on GW! An irish girl called Laura who has more balls than me and would easily pick a fight with a pack of bouncers...and shes only 12. And theres Maarten from Holland, my friendly chicken factory worker who seems to spend all his time on Guild Wars yet still has a fricken job. Theres others, but i cant be assed mentioning them ¬__¬'

Hmm, what else? Got lots of important homework to do this weekend. Have to balance out my FF12, Homework and Work...far to much for me to cope with o__o;; *sweatdrop* Also been trying to get lots of sleep so i can at least concentrate in school.
Roseann is off to Hong Kong, lucky bitch. I told her she better bring me back a brand new phone or i'll not talk to her again. But knowing her she'll do what she did last time and bring back some stupid key chain with a little pink figure on it...yay. Shaun was also supposed to be coming up, he isnt anymore, i had everything planned, from going round to Rosey's and trashing the place to ordering huge meals from her chinese and delivery it to random places! xDD

Ahh, i think i've spoken too much! Better shut up now...

Caio every1! n__n'

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I'm enjoying school? HUH!?

Oct. 1st, 2006 | 05:32 pm

Yesums, i'm enjoying school! why? Its so weird going to school and getting excited!! o__o; I dont know if its becuase i hate being at home or if everyone at school are so much fun!! xDD I feel like a right GEEK!

Theres an end of term party on Thursday!! yay! I have to bring my own drink! Dunno what everyone will like tho!! *sigh* I think i'll just get some malibu and hug it all night so nobody takes it...
 Thing is, i have 2 NABs the next day (which are like tests which you have to pass in order to sit your final exam) and i really wanna pass them cos i've like swatted up for them and such, but i'll be sooo hungover and probably still blootered from the night before. I dont wanna sleep at this party cos then my hair will go all over the place and everyone just goes straight to school! EEP! Its a forest too...ewww, i'll be smelling of mushrooms and knowing my luck some random badger will shag my leg or summit and my jeans will be like...stained white *shivers* ANYWAY, GOING OFF THE TOPIC OF BADGER SPUNK...

Theres soo many games i want for christmas, but most of them wont be out in time for crimbo! Noooo! Mainly i want FF3, but that doesnt look hopeful for a crimbo release. Then theres Lost Oddysy or summit, which looks mental, but again, not released for crimbo. Cooking Mama tooooo! ;__; UGH! I wanna cook with that little pixelated woman allll daaayyy longggg on my DS! *weeps*

My job sucks too, i'm thinking about going to Debenhams to get a job, however, alot of wankers from school work there! Tis the sucky. Plus i'd have to get buses back and forth from the country into town, which costs about £5 for a return, and everyday in the hols and at weekends, thats gonna rank up to quite an amount T__T'

I'm hoping to get off with one of two people at the party on Thursday night. OMG i'm so excited! I'm gonna go out and buy clothes especially for it!! YAY! Oooo, and i almost forgot! I've joined the scuba diving club...WITH THE PERSON I FANCY THE ASS OFF!! OMFG! ITS GONNA BE A BLASSSTTT! *sad unstable person here ¬__¬* I'm gonna SOOO make love to them underwater! OMG! Plus, at the end of the course, we all go to Tenerife for a week's scuba diving and partying and going to dolphin events and all that shitz! Ahh! Cant wait! But i've got such a lame body that i'll look like such a doofus in the pool when we go training every week. I have to actually get some meat on me ¬__¬'

Enough blabber! I must rush to the...to..the...I MUST RUSH!!

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Ooo lala

Sep. 10th, 2006 | 05:38 pm
location: Computer! Biatch!
music: Want Me, Want Me - Namie Amuro

I've been feeling so horny for the past few days! I dont know why!? *weeps* T__T

Uggghhhh, i havent had a long lie in for weeks. Its killlinnnggg me! I have to get up at 7am every morning for either school or work, and now i'm starting to feel the pain badly. Im physically and mentally exhausted yet i refuse to go to bed early? why do i do it? o__o; I swear, if i dont start going to bed early i'm gonna have to start eating energy bars every hour or summit, cos this has to stop ;__;

Oh! I made a breakthrough! Well, to me anyway. I found over 20 pictures on bebo of the person i'm stalking! *gasp* they're so cute and i put them onto my psp so i can stare at them all night long! ^__^v

I'm so sad, i literally stalk this person around school, i go watch them at training like 4 times a week, i've followed them home like 10 times, i've got a collection of about 50 pictures of them, i chat up their siblings (who are also extremely hot!!!), and i drool over them in class....and i havent spoken more than 5 words to this person in all ma life! O__O; i need to get out more! (like, out as in watching them train, so then i can start speaking to them! yay!) Im so brainy.

I'm hatching a plan so me and my friends can go on this big camping trip to a loch about 30 miles away and then i can get off with them! *drools* It would be heaven! Me.Them.Talking by the log fire.Me.Them.Getting off by the log fire.Me.Them.Having sex by the log fire.

*smacks hand* BAD CHRIS! MINKY THOUGHTS! v__v;;

Oooo, i think i better go and watch the Lost repeat. It starts at 6pm but i need like 15 minutes to prepare myself. Its getting so good. That weirdo Micheal or whatever it is just ran out of the trees all crazed and weirdy, then Kate and Jack (who are so fucking annoying, but anyway) go "omgz! Micheal! Why didnt you just fucking die and leave us in bloody peace!?"

....i wish.

Kate is so fucking annoying. Shes always there. For example, if Sawyer and Libby were arguing in like the middle of nowhere, Kate would just randomly pop up from the overgrowth. "Oi! Break it up!"

Ugh...shes such a fucking tit. I wish she'd just go off with Jack and leap off a fricken cliff. I mean come on. When a rescue plane actually comes (which will probably be like series 23), the rescue people wont want Kate on the plain. She'll just annoy everyone to high heaven. So why doesnt she realise this and go die?! V__V;

I need to calm down. BUGGER! I just lost 5 minutes of my preparation time complaining about the bitch Kate!!! ARGGH! (now i dont have any time to complain about the bloody annoyingly heroic Jack!!)

Adios Amegos! And keep counting! *swings away on rope into the sky*

(does anyone actually remember that number programme from primary school? El Nombre or whatever the fuck it was? Bah, nevermind, it was shite anyway, i didnt watch it, i just used to wet myself so the teacher would take me away...hmm....good times....

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Paths in life? Huhwhat?

Aug. 29th, 2006 | 06:10 pm
location: Room! Computer! Desk! Ahhh
music: Namie Amuro - So Crazy!

Hello!! I'm facing a HUGEOUS JIMUNGOUSNUSS...NUSS dilemma here! I dont know whether to be a bum and work in town and live my parents all my life, or go to Uni and actually do something useful. The weird thing is, you'd think it would be luxury to be a bum, but something is telling me i just wouldnt be satisfied with that! ;__;

I cant save my money, so how the hell would i cope with Uni? My Business Management teacher said 'Dont take a gap year'...that means i couldnt go on Big Brother *sigh*. I'm faced with so many decisions!!

Anyhoo, going away from my life and all its weirdnessness...

School is still crap, i'm falling asleep in like every class, and i'm getting sick of being prefect, the blazer sucks and i have to wear smart shirts, ew.

Och fuck it, my mum just came in to moan at me telling me to revise. This is a journal...i use my journal to write down everything i think...



Oooo *takes caps off*

I better go before she goes all PMT and whatnot, i get that sometimes, but Swoosh knows more about that than me v__v;

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I HATE TXTING!!!! among other things...

Aug. 26th, 2006 | 04:27 pm
location: At the computer, which has a SHIT freeview box connected!
music: Perfume - Perfect Star

Yes...i fucking hate it beyond belief. Nobody ever fucking replies to my texts, and my texts are always important! I try phoning people and they're fucking phones are always fucking switched off. Then, when i leave my phone for a few hours i come back to an array of texts and missed calls. So i phone/text them back...no fucking reply.

I'm getting rid of that fucking mobile. I'd have better luck tying a fucking note to a stick and throwing it into town.

Bah! I got off work early aswell to go into town with Nicky. He told me to contact him around 4-ish. I fucking did that and i got no reply. Last time i bloody make arrangements with him. I'd rather go into town for coffee with my dog. *sigh*

I feel like drawing. Drawing Manga or summit. Oh yes. Manga. I'm no good. Mind you, i'm no fucking good at drawing anything really. I draw faces in school that turn out looking like a fucking apple with eyes or summit. That reminds me, i hate Art in school. Most of the time i sit there and doodle, i've been doing this goddamn course for a year and a half cos i 'didnt take standard grade so i'm at a disadvantage'. What bollocks. Could they not have least let me attempt it and if i didnt get my Higher Art then i could try again? I think THAT sounds more logical! Then again...the Art teachers in school have no more common sense than the fucking pencils we draw with.

I am also VERY angry at this shitty freeview box i bought for my comuter so i could watch tv all night long. The shite arial provided with it picks up sod all. the instructions say 'stick the arial out your window for better reception. Well i'm sorry, but your 'arial' has a cable the length of my finger and unless we ram our fucking computers right up against the fucking window itself then your 'solution' isnt possible. In fact...i'm going to name and shame this SHIT product so you wont go out and buy the heap of crap:-

ARTEC - Digital Tv Box T1

So, the next time your in pcworld, ask why the fuck they sell such a shit product and see what the useless assistants have to say for themselves. If they're anything like mine (who would even take the product back!) they'll say 'Well maybe you should use it in an area with better reception'. Good Idea! Why didnt i think of that!? WHY DONT I JUST FUCKING MOVE TO LONDON SO I CAN GET A BETTER RECEPTION!!!

Ugh. Life is a struggle. Bye.

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My Final Year....God Help Me!

Aug. 22nd, 2006 | 07:23 pm
location: Bedroom. In the darkness.
music: Namie Amuro - No More Tears

I'm now into my second week of official 6th year, and not that crappy '6th year' that we had for a few weeks before the summer where they pretended you were top seniors ¬__¬'

My exam results were utter pish, didnt even get ONE higher. The thing is, i actually revised! I think i'm just one of these people who are not born for things like this, i cant pay attention in class, i fail miserably...even at bloody HE cooking, and i fall out with someone like every day! Ugh...getting those crap results means i have to actually work my ass off this year. Get this: I need 2 A's and 2 B's to get into my Uni course. Liek hello! I couldnt even get a bloody C this year! How am i supposed to get those grades!!!

Ooo, my job sucks too. I got promoted to waiter. They dont like me being a waiter anymore cos i take a hissy fit over something small like taking out toast. I dont like interacting with hotel guests! Plus i cant do that thing where they stack the plates all the way up their arms, i can only carry one in each hand and they look at me like i'm some retard!!

I'm going shopping on Sunday after work though, which will lift my spirits. I've kept this months pay all safe in the bank specially for this shopping spree. I need more jeans...as if 12 pairs wasnt enough. I also need new shoes! This guy in Business Management class had these AWESOME red and white Etnies. I just stared at them all lesson (oh, and his ass). I want them so bad!! *jiggles in seat*

You see why i want them so badly now!? o__o;

If i get mud or even a speck of dirt on them in town i will literally scream on the high street. I cant cope with dirty shoes.

Oh bloody hell...i cant think of anything else to jabber on about. I wanna get to bed and dream about the guy in the cool Etnies, but its like only half 7, booooo! OH! I taped the BB BBQ special thingy or whatever the hell it was the other night, i should totally go watch that! :O

*trots off*

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Friends Only

Mar. 31st, 2006 | 09:27 pm

Like a sheep i'm following the trend, while at the same time i'm sheilding my dignity from all those peeking toms who want to find out my gossip...

To be added, simply comment: i'll get back to you!

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